Ivey

Meet Ivey!
Born in 2001.

From a mom who met her:  I have met her! We became very close during my trip and she asked me to take her to America to get her arms and legs fixed. She is so sassy! An absolute delight.
From another mom who met her:  I adore Ivey with every fiber of my being. She is so sassy, smart, and funny, and she deserves to have a family of her own! When I met her in June she was 11 and has just finished fourth grade - or the equivalent of fourth grade, at least. Her favorite subjects are math and reading, and she can recite long, complicated poems and songs from memory! Mentally, she is just like every other preteen. She invited me to watch tv with her, and was able to catch me up on all the plot lines of her favorite series very quickly. Ivey is also a sass master, and loves hanging out with the older kids.
Physically, Ivey is very limited. She cannot move her arms and legs at all and her hands are very twisted. Her legs are very tiny and underdeveloped. I believe she has lordosis and scoliosis in her spine, and her back is unnaturally arched. Yet she wants to be independent so badly. When we were painting nails and making bracelets she wanted to do those things by herself, but couldn't. When she learned that surgery in America could help fix her arms and legs, she asked me to take her in a suitcase to America so she could 'get fixed'.
Someone please look past her physical limitation! Ivey would make an amazing daughter and sister. I want to be able fulfill that promise I made to her during that summer - so somebody, anybody, please give her a chance!

"Please see if you can find me a family."
And a third person who met her: She is SO smart and funny and has the best sense of humor. When we were in there, she asked the staff if it was possible to get a family for herself, but they felt the answer would be no- because no one would want someone as badly disabled as she was. She can do nothing for herself physically, her limbs are twisted very badly, and unlike many of the others, she cannot feed herself. She lies on the couch and another older girl, also disabled, comes and feeds her. But she is amazing- despite her lack of formal schooling, she has memorized poems, and such. But she is also a fantastic conversationalist. She reads, can write some (limitations of her arms), has an incredible memory and method of delivery of things she has memorized (she also sang for us). She loves the color yellow and loves dressing up to feel pretty. She also loves to watch cartoons, but is ok with “serious dramas” on tv too lol!

No one would want someone as badly disabled as she

 was.

She’s spending her days on a couch, wishing for a family she fears will never come because her limbs are twisted and she cannot be “useful.” I am praying with all my heart that there is a family out there that recognizes that a person’s worth is not measured by what they can physically do- and will cross the ocean to call her daughter, because I truly believe she would be an incredible addition to a family. She’s spunky and overcame her hesitation about potential rejection, in order to ask me if I would please see if I could find her a family.

She apologized and said she knew she would not be 

much help to a family. 

I quickly explained that we Americans don't

 adopt kids to have servants.

I met her and I LOVE her!!!! Of all the kids I have ever met, THIS is the one I want to see in a family most urgently!!!!! 

She is amazing- she was a "big sister" of sorts to our [little one] and she is intelligent (very!) and sweet and compassionate, extremely helpful and respectful. I seriously have NOTHING negative to say about this girl. Not one thing. 

Heartbreaking truth: The day I met all the kids in the orphanage, and was taking pics to update the RR listings of the ones I recognized, she told the translator she wished she wasn't so old and "ugly" so that she too could have a family. The translator (a young woman from the village) told me what was said and agreed, it's a shame that she's so old and cannot be adopted. I asked how old she was, and she told me and I quickly asked the staff if she was available for int'l adoption. They looked it up and said yes, she was. 

She listened to all of it, biting her lip.

She listened to all of it, biting her lip. I could see this spark of hope in her eyes, but she was obviously fighting it back. I asked the director if it was ok to interview her, to see if I could find her a family and she nodded but told me she knew it would be very hard because of her age and severe disability. She cannot do any self care. She lays on a couch most of the day, and is spoon fed by another orphan who has more mobility. She apologized (the young girl) and said she knew she would not be much help to a family. I quickly explained that we Americans don't adopt kids to have servants, we adopt them because we love having families. She smiled and went back to being her usual happy self. 

I have video of her reciting a very long complicated poem. She is amazing- and delightful to spend time with. I went to take her picture, and she asked them to get her up in the wheelchair, so she looked "better for the family to see." 

We have GOT to find her a family- she is totally awesome!!!!

She wants to be able to feed herself and to paint nails by herself. When I was there she was trying so very hard to paint my nails by herself.

We HAVE to find her a family. Seriously. She's just amazing. And cognitively, to be 12 and to believe that you will NEVER be loved in a family because you were born with arthrogryposis, and because you aren't one of the "pretty ones" is just devastating to me. If it were me, I think I would be a total depressed mess. But she isn't. That's the thing that drew me to her- she's upbeat, optimistic, friendly, full of smiles, so helpful.

 As far as her AMC goes, everything Ivey has mentioned a desire to do is completely possible with therapy and surgery and even now with adaptive equipment.

Please if you have any interest in Ivey or any questions about either her, her situation, the country she's in (that starts with a U) inquire directly here.

Leave any questions about AMC in the comments below and we'd be happy to answer them!

And please share this girl far and wide! We don't want her negative thoughts about herself to become real! She DOES absolutely deserve a family! She is beautiful! And a couple of us have an "Ivey" at home who have the same joint issues and spine and even ear! (Long hair covers it!) We'd be happy to help! Both our daughters walk and feed themselves and write and go to school and play on the computer, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.

Aubree update--she wants a family and little brothers and sisters!

Aubree with Serge, an adoption facilitator
Aubree would really like a family please. She asks about it all the time.

 

As many of you know we've blogged about Aubree before.

She was our focus for the month of September (link here).
A father adopting his daughter out of the same orphanage wrote about her here.
A young gal on a missions trip to her orphanage as well as a mom adopting from that same orphanage both wrote about her here.

Aubree is running out of time to find a family. A friend is in her orphanage right now adopting a different child(ren). Here's what she had to say:

"The good news is the orphanage [...] is very accommodating and pro-adoption, so we already met a BUNCH of kids

Aubree was one of the first ones I met. I'll be honest, I've read her profile, and I was worried. She's in the pictures we had of M in the new orphanage, and to think that she was the type of child described in the second "someone met her" description, was scary! I don't know what brought about the difference yesterday (maybe they're working with her, or she was just having a bad day before?), but she hung out with us for a while, and we didn't see any of those behaviors. I hope we get to spend more time with her next time as well, and I think we will.  AB [name of three year old withheld] loved her- she was very gentle and nurturing with AB and J [little kids] and very social! We talked for a while, with a nanny and Serge translating for us (although I actually understood quite a bit, because I asked questions that I could recognize the answers to!). She likes school very much, especially art, and writing and drawing. She likes animals (cats, dogs, etc). She LOVES jewelry, and hairbows (the more giant the better!). She very much wants brothers and sisters, and when i asked her if she wanted older ones or little ones, she said little (and I believe it, she was very interested in our five kiddos, and loved to snuggle them). She held AB and AB walked her through our photo book, describing everything- Aubree was so attentive, and her face looked so wistful.

So, physical description of Aubree: Obvious arthrogryposis, although, she seems to have some flexibility in her hands, because she was holding a banana (no peel) and eating sections of it by herself. her legs are pretty small, and very stiff. She struggles with speech, not with the thoughts, but with getting it out, and I believe she would benefit from speech therapy. She was very polite and affectionate as well, and although she does have some obvious cognitive delays, she seems eager to learn new things and to be a part of things.

When she was with us, I had our five playing blocks on one of the beds, and although she watched, and looked very interested in what they were playing, she never attempted to roll over there or monopolize attention. She talked with her friends, with our facilitator, and with me, for a while, especially when she realized that I might know a family for her- which totally broke my heart, because she was so eager to be adopted. At one point, I had turned away to say something to someone else, and she was trying to get my attention- her arms do appear to be affected by the arthrogryposis from what I saw, because her elbows didn't bend much, and her hands are turned at an unusual angle, and she grabbed at my shirt sleeve, trying to get my attention (she didn't know my name then). Her hands are strong, from rolling the wheelchair, and her grasp is poor because of the arthrogryposis, so she had to kind of sling her arm and try to close her fingers on my sleeve. I could see the awkwardness of it for her, but she definitely wasn't afraid to try! She's beautiful in person- these pictures don't do her justice at all. And I'm sorry my pictures are blurry, kids don't stay still long and I was using my camera with a slower capture speed because the room was a bit dim.

And something to consider- it is a very cheap area to stay in, and not far from Kyiv, so with Aubree's $3092 grant plus the private $3K grant, you'd be probably close to 1/3 of the way to funded just from that. 

Here's a few pictures of Aubree...again, sorry for the blurriness, but there were about 18 people in a six bed groupa "bedroom" and 5 of them were my kids under 7 that I was trying to supervise while I socialized lol"